Drinking has ruined this man's life in our fanart Simpsons Hans Moleman and Cane cursor pack. Hans Moleman, also known as Ralph Melish, is a mole-like man with bad luck. Although seemingly an elder, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old, implying that his appearance looks like that due to heavy drinking and is not a result of old age. He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword. Also, he is known for dying many times but is constantly getting revived.